My life as a farmer's Wife

A lot of people ask me what it’s like to be a farmer’s wife. It is a very different life to what I was used to before.
I can’t speak for all farmer’s wives as I suppose everyone is different but I thought I’d explain what happens in our world.
My husband gets up and goes and opens the gates. I get up with Boo and we watch a bit of TV if we have no plans.
Hubbie cooks his breakfast in his mum’s house-I don’t know why this happened but I am quite glad about it as it means less washing up for me.
He then comes in to see us. Sometimes for half an hour if he’s not busy, sometimes just to brush his teeth.
I work two days a week so for the remaining five, I run any errands, do the shopping or take Boo to her various classes in the morning.
We have to be back between 12 and 1pm as my farmer likes his meals at certain times.  When I am  at home I cook at least two meals a day and when I’m not at home for meal times, the farmer wants to know why.
If there are any farm workers here, I make lunch for them too.
It is always an event.
Boo is quite used to eating her lunch with a group of men discussing machinery and the like.
Boo has a nap still in the afternoons and I try to catch up on house work or writing.

Unless we go outside, we wouldn’t see hubster again until it goes dark which means in winter, we see him for a lot longer than we do in summer.
Evening meal must be on the table by 6pm or, if he is busy, whenever he comes in.
I do hate the thought of heating things up so when he is busy, like in the summer, that means Boo and I having one meal and then making something again for him when he comes in.
I think I am going to have to master the one-pot or slow cooker again to remedy this as it can be a right pain-especially if he comes in demanding his dinner right in the middle of bedtime.
When it comes to dinner, it always, always has to have meat or fish in it. Beans on toast just won’t cut it for my farmer.
Even on Shrove Tuesday last year when I was making a stack of pancakes and served beans on toast, I got grumbles.
He does work hard though and it is a physical job so I suppose he needs the energy.
I put Boo to bed. Then if it needs it, I do some accounting work for the business which actually is a but funny as I am so bad at maths but, with the aid of a calculator, I seem to be getting by.
I do everything in the house-cook, clean, wash and iron clothes, food shopping, clothes shopping. Everything.
This is just a snap shot of one day and that is the thing that people who aren’t from farming backgrounds don’t understand.
Every day is different. Emergencies can arise-especially as we have livestock.
There is the possibility of people dropping in at any moment for a cup of tea and a chat as we are technically living in the middle of a business.
In the summer my farmer works from sunrise to sunset-or later. You get used to the smell of manure and the constant mopping of the kitchen floor from muddy boots-why did I pick a cream floor on a farm, I will never know.
You regularly have to check your washing machine filter for straw and, during lambing and calving season, you have a special wash just for blood/milk/gunk stained items. You have a lamb’s bottle brush on you kitchen drainer and a torch by your bedside in case the dogs start barking in the night.
We haven’t been on holiday for five years with no glimmer of hope that we will ever go away again and you just have to accept it. If you were bitter about it, it would ruin your relationship. In 2013, as it was an ok summer, it felt like we were on holiday as Boo and I spent so much time outdoors.
In summer, Boo can go a whole day, even more without seeing her daddy as he is out before she gets up and home after she goes to bed.
When we lived in an ordinary house, I felt like a single mother a lot of the time as I did so many things on my own with her and I thought when we moved to the farm we would see more of him.
The reality is, if he’s living here, he finds something to do all the time so I am still a bit like a single mother save for the odd day (twice a year maybe) that we go out for the day.
I am not moaning. I choose this crazy life with him.
He might not be in the house with me but we know he is usually just a shout away over the farm yard and that when Boo is a little older she can go on adventures with her daddy on the farm.
Unless we need anything or have an appointment somewhere, we don’t actually need to go out. There are so many exciting things to do here for Boo, ok and me.

From petting animals, sitting on tractors, jumping in muddy puddles, not to mention the times we help herd the sheep for market or bottle feed lambs in the spring.
I got a swing and a slide for her so we also have a mini park and this year, we are going to try our hand at growing vegetables.
Our life on the farm is not conventional. Do I sometimes wish my farmer helped out more and that we could go on holiday? Yes. But when you see the look on Boo’s face when she pets an animal or runs around with no threat of being run over, it makes it all worth it.

 

Taken from my other blog farmerswifeandmummy.wordpress.com

Ten Ways Raising Farm Kids Changed My Life

So this delightful post recently appeared on Huffington Post and has been showing up, repeatedly, on my fb newsfeed.  Why?  I happen to have married a farmer and so many of these hit home as they say.  10 Ways Marrying A Farmer Changed My Life

There was however, an element left untouched...those farm kids!  So here are 10 ways having farm kids has changed my life.

1. Dirt.  It.is.everywhere.  They will find it, they will be proud of it, they will bring it in the house.  You will find it in the cuffs of their pants and their diapers, on the inside and outside of shoes and boots.  Just get over it.  Even if you sweep three times a day and research the best "dirt holding" door mats...it is still coming.  Accept this.

2. Poop.  Sure, all kids bring poop.  Well...most kids just bring their own.  Farm kids, they love poop...liquid, solid, spreading it, using little tractors to push it, using tonka toys in dirt and pretending it's poop.  No child is as proud to come home with sufficiently stinky boots and jeans as a farm kid.  It is as if they have arrived in "real farmer" territory.  If it were up to them the Christmas photo would include poo covered boots.  

3. Critters.  I once lived in NYC, 5 minute walk to my grandmother's apartment, while attending college.  Sure there are critters in the city, some families will have a cat or a leashed dog.  Farm kids?  Well...they love critters.  For our kids it's the cows first, and then the cows that are really pets, and then their "own" cows and yes...these are all different.  As it happens, farms come with cats too.  In trying to not compete with Grandpa's Cat Parade, there are only four here at our house...for now?  We also entered chicken-land this year...so there are 22 of them.  Plus the dog.  Of course there is a dog.  Now this may all sound rather manageable.  Until that day when the dog is running where she shouldn't, there is an outside cat in the kitchen and a chicken in your upstairs hallway.  This happened last week.

4. You better know your equipment!  In our house we learn colors based on tractor brands, my two year old has a circle obsession..why?  "tires are curcles" There is a difference between combines and choppers and mowers and tractors and skid steers and dump trucks and skid steer grapples.  The other night I was listening to the farmer tell me why he had to have (another) grapple for the skid steer.  So went something about different teeth and spacing and how it opens.  18 hours later when discussing the Christmas Wish List, I asked Joey (11) if the John Deere Loader on Amazon was the same as the one we had...it sure looked it!  Not so much "well this one has teeth and see the spacing  the other one is more flat, this would be better for clearing new dirt holes..."

Real muffler, fake tractor...what's the diff?

Joey (11) giving the Caterpillar guy a run for his money at Woodsman Field Days.  

5. All media will somehow relate to the farm.  I'm certain every non-Eric Carle book has some piece of equipment or farm product in it.  Mail?  Have you ever seen a two year old giggling and saying "yes please" when the latest "Truck Buyers Guide" comes?  No?  Just here?  What about Northeast Farming, or Successful Farming or Lancaster Farming...they all come...almost weekly...and are all fought over by even the youngest of farmers.  Little extra time after dinner?  It's family youtube time for harvest videos of other people's corn.   In this house Barney and Sesame Street have zero effect on the toddler, 14 minute Bobcat SkidSteer Learning Manual Video?  2-3 times a day we get "Bobcat Skid Stee Loader Yes Please"  and he will watch, the whole thing.

6. They probably have a much greater understanding of failure than non-farm kids.  That sounds bad, but I don't think it's all bad.  Joey, 11, has seen still born preemie calves, kittens born too small that couldn't be saved no matter how many times you hand feed them and give them soft straw, crops get washed out not long after planting.  As he says "that's life, sometimes it stinks."  In a society where every kid gets a trophy, I like that he's grounded.  I like that he knows no matter how hard you try, sometimes life stinks.

7.  If you don't like to cook...you'll have to learn!  Farm kids, with all their fresh air, chore time, dirt playing and poop digging...get hungry.  A lot.  The good news is, they also raise a lot of their feed.  They get their eggs from the chickens in the backyard, milk from the "mommy moos,"  all the veggies they can eat from the garden, and often a lot of meat is raised too.  Actual dinner conversation: "who is this"  "no Joey, you say 'what is this' it's london broil" "No, I meant is it Andy?"  "Oh...yes.  It is."  Two year old at the grocery store "Okay George we have to get some eggs"  "where is chickies??"  "Oh here's the eggs"  "WHERE IS CHICKIES?"  The looks we get at the store sometimes...

8. While some kids drool over the Abercrombie ads, farm kids love free hats and boots.  Before we lived on the farm and before we knew our 4H Dairy Club friends, Joey would roll around in the dirt at home before leaving and would wear boots and barn clothes..."I want them to know I'm a real farmer"  Remember dirt?  In this house...it's a status symbol.  Joey sees ads for "ripped" jeans and says they look like the ones he's throwing out then opts for the Dickies duck jeans and has more on his Christmas list.  When farmers write big checks for seed and equipment most companies give out free hats.  I swear these guys go buy something sometimes when they are running out of hats.   Farm kids love representing their favorite brands.  Some kids like the Yankees and the Giants, Farm kids love to be the first with the new Case IH hat.  "This one is from the plant tour!  Nobody else will have this unless they bought a combine"...ooh exclusivity!:)  While on a family day trip to the Woodsman Days festival...yes, really...loggers, chainsaws, and family time, we raided the "$10 jacket bin" as Joey needed a new winter coat.  I won mom of the year when I found him a Case IH Parts & Service jacket.  Which was better than the one he got two years ago that said "Tom" on it...and then he got picked on for "stealing" Grandpa Tom's coat...$10 jacket shoppers can't be choosy you know.

9. They steal your seats.  Back in the day, I used to ride shotgun with Wayne in the chopper almost the whole season.  After Joey I got bumped to "when Joey rides in a dump truck" now that there are two boys, I get to go home and make dinner...(see #7)

Joey was shotgun in the white truck, Daddy and George in the chopper, Grandpa in the other truck:)

George's first on-road tractor ride.

10.  You will spend way more time together than most other families.  A lot of it is work, a lot of it is fun, your semi-annual vacation will be to the National Farm Machinery Show in Louisville, KY.  Most romantic place in the world? no  However, for farm kids it's more exciting than Disney world, building after building of the largest farm equipment in the world.  (Of course there is Waffle House, Steak n Shake and Bob Evans...which are at moments talked about as much as the 48 row corn planter...see #7).  So while most of our family adventures have something to do with parts, equipment or animals, the bottom line is that we are doing it together.  Farm kids have more access to their parents than almost any other families.  So thankful to live in sight of Grandpa's house too.  There is no need to schedule a visit, we see Pa every day, in a tractor, out by the shop, in the milking parlor.  More than just the social aspects, I think that inherently important for children to see their families working, and working alongside, it won't be such a shock when they get out of school and have to do it full time.   They will know that you stop when the job is done, not when the clock says so.  They learn not to cut corners, because you will be the one re-fixing it next time.

George, last fall, playing with tractors and watching Daddy & Grandpa milk cows.

Are there days when I daydream about my neat little apartment with nightly-mopped floors and no stinky boots?  Occasionally.  However, I've learned to throw a pot of cloves, cinnamon and vanilla on the stove, sweep the floor and read more tractor books.  I really can't imagine raising my children anywhere else.  

Who are these Farm Mums?

I’m Emma, also 33 and UK Farm Mum of Elizabeth who is 2. I am wife to Gerald the farmer and we live on a 300 acre farm in Culcheth, near Warrington in North West of England (about half way between Manchester and Liverpool).

We had about 300 cows which my husband reared for beef but we are down to 70 now and looking into diversifying into other areas. We have 300 sheep and I too have forayed into the chicken keeping but what with fox attacks, my chicken breeding programme has been put on hold and I am now just keeping them, like Katie, for the family (once you have fresh eggs it is hard to go back to the anaemic shop bought ones).

My husband makes haylage and silage for feed and bales other people’s straw for bedding for the winter.

I work two days a week as the features editor of a religious newspaper, oh and, despite many pleas for conversion, I am a vegetarian-no cow goes past my lips-you can imagine the heated discussions in our house.

The Gorky’s and Lander’s are two households on opposite sides of the Atlantic, both trying to earn a living and have a wonderful life in this unpredictable world of farming.

 

Who are these Farm Moms?

I'm Katie, 33, the NY Farm Mom of two boys; Joey 11 and George 2.  Also wife to Wayne--the farmer:)  We live on our dairy and grain farm in the Town of Stillwater, just off Saratoga Lake in scenic upstate New York, 180 miles north of Times Square in New York City.  

We milk 60 cows, raise our heifers for milking and steers for beef.  We grow about 500 acres of corn, 300 of hay and about 100 of soybeans (I'm sure I will be corrected on these numbers..."it's really 534 except that wet piece....":-) I also think our acres are different thank UK acres...I'll be on google later.)We make all our own feed for our animals, only outsourcing minerals.  It's nice to know just what is going into our animals.  We also make some custom grain mixes for a few other small farmers.  This year we've started on chickens as well, but mostly just for the family at this point, we're up to 19 hens.  

I'm the granddaughter of Mack Naughton, Emma's Great Uncle:)